Yes, that's a gun in my pocket. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see you.
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Post by Deadpool on Jan 15, 2017 18:54:30 GMT
Speaking of reality and how it works, it seems I might've tripped over something and stumbled into a brand new one. How'd that happen? Well, see, I had been hired by an anonymous client to assassinate an ex-W.A.N.D. agent that had grown obsessed with the concept of alternate realities, went bonkers from their research, and went rouge. Hm? What's W.A.N.D.? Wizardry, Alchemy and Necromancy Department, duh. What? It's the magic and occult division of S.H.I.E.L.D. You didn't know that?
Yes, that's a thing. It's totally a thing. Look it up. Go on, I'll wait.
...
See? Told ya! You gonna let me finish my story now, or are you gonna just keep barraging me with more questions? Alright. Cool.
Now where was I...? Oh right, W.A.N.D agent, went batshit, hired to kill him. So I find the guy's stronghold and he has, like, an army of freaky deaky critters running about, and I'm slicin' and dicin' and juliennin' through all of them until I finally get to the big man himself. Though, to be perfectly honest, he wasn't all that big. Kinda a scrawny little B*tch of a thing. Anyway, one villainous monologue later, and we get into it. And I mean really get into it. Fireballs and electricity and swords strikes and explosions – dude, you shoulda been there! It was awesome! Real summer blockbuster levels of destructions.
Problem was, I probably should have paid better attention to the grandstanding. Turns out, this asshole was actually the guy who hired me in the first place! Apparently, my blood was some sort of key to opening up the legendary Nexus of All Realities, and here I was, bleeding all over the place and powering the damn thing up without realizing it! Next thing I know, everything gets all Whovian and warbled and sucky...and then floaty.
And now I'm here. Don't worry, I'm not really all that bent outta shape about it. I just need to find my place in this world and get some loot in my pouches. Maybe do things differently than I did back home until I can find a way back to the reality I came from. If there's a way back, that is.
So whaddya say? Wanna help me out of this jam? Or perhaps you're in need of my services? You need something stolen, someone shot, or anything in between, Deadpool has the quips and skills to help cure what ails ya!
So long as what ails you is cured by gratuitous violence, of course.
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Post by Aedan Byrne on Mar 19, 2017 17:14:11 GMT
Hiya there, Deadpool! Nice to meet'cha keyboard to keyboard!^^ I think it'd be interesting for you and Imp to have a run in, and I came up with a couple ideas.^^ Maybe you have yourself a target of a Gang leader, and the kid manages to pop up to give the person a well deserved beating, inadvertently causing you some trouble? Or we could do a thing where he got himself snagged,and modify the previous idea around that? Or, if you'd prefer, they could do a 'dueling thief's' thing, somehow?^^ Do you have any ideas of your own?^^ If you want to wait to meet the Impish Trickster, that's ok too. Either way,have a good one!^^
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Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2017 13:10:23 GMT
I think it'd be hilarious for Matt to bump into Deadpool . I'd just love to write Matt's reaction to what he'd have to say.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2017 13:46:50 GMT
Speaking of reality and how it works, it seems I might've tripped over something and stumbled into a brand new one. "Put on a blue dress, and Tetch will love you forever." How'd that happen? Well, see, I had been hired by an anonymous client to assassinate an ex-W.A.N.D. "Joke comics shouldn't mess with primary continuity almost entirely because of names like S.N.O.T. Just saying. Nnnhehehehahaha!" agent that had grown obsessed with the concept of alternate realities, went bonkers from their research, and went rouge. "It's so much better when they go concealer." Hm? What's W.A.N.D.? Wizardry, Alchemy and Necromancy Department, duh. What? It's the magic and occult division of S.H.I.E.L.D. You didn't know that?
Yes, that's a thing. It's totally a thing. Look it up. Go on, I'll wait.
...
See? Told ya! You gonna let me finish my story now "Hell no! Why aren't those kids chopped into little bits yet?", or are you gonna just keep barraging me with more questions? "Make sure their body parts are diced Julienne-style. It's classy! Aaahahahahehehehahaha!" Alright. Cool.
Now where was I...? Oh right, W.A.N.D agent, went batshit "I know the feeling!", hired to kill him. So I find the guy's stronghold "Crusader?" and he has, like, an army of freaky deaky critters running about, and I'm slicin' and dicin' and juliennin' "See? We do think alike, and that wasn't even planned!" through all of them until I finally get to the big man himself. "Daredevil after he's given up on life? Woowoo!" Though, to be perfectly honest, he wasn't all that big. Kinda a scrawny little B*tch of a thing. Anyway, one villainous monologue later, and we get into it. "I'm sure it's all over Reddit. Heh!" And I mean really get into it. "I rest my case." Fireballs and electricity and swords strikes and explosions – dude "What is this? A crappy 90s sitcom?", you shoulda been there! It was awesome! Real summer blockbuster levels of destructions.
Problem was, I probably should have paid better attention to the grandstanding. Turns out, this asshole was actually the guy who hired me in the first place! Apparently, my blood was some sort of key to opening up the legendary Nexus of All Realities, and here I was, bleeding all over the place and powering the damn thing up without realizing it! Next thing I know, everything gets all Whovian "I don't care for Dr. Whom." and warbled and sucky...and then floaty.
And now I'm here. Don't worry, I'm not really all that bent outta shape about it. I just need to find my place in this world "In a body bag! With a toe tag and a porno mag*!" and get some loot in my pouches. Maybe do things differently than I did back home until I can find a way back to the reality I came from. If there's a way back, that is.
So whaddya say? Wanna help me out of this jam? Or perhaps you're in need of my services? You need something stolen, someone shot "Blind Al! Shoot Blind Al!", or anything in between, Deadpool has the quips and skills to help cure what ails ya!
So long as what ails you is cured by gratuitous violence, of course. ♬Goooodbye Ruby Thursday. Who could have a head like yoooooou.♫ "She didn't use the yellow thought bubbles when she played him, but hehe!, there's a chance. WAHAHAHAHAHA!"
*"Porno mags are what your fathers read before the internet was a thing. See also, National Geographic for the truly sheltered."
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